Category Archives: General

2007

Happy 2007!!

Life in Shanghai has been great. Busy but great. We’ve moved Spicy Horse to new offices, have brought on some additional team members, and have been doing “lab tests” for the new game concept.

A Feng Shui master told us that our new offices are haunted by zombies. The Feng Shui master even barfed in Xin’s office for effect. We were told that for a nominal fee the zombies could be removed. But Xin and I agreed that it would be better to put the zombies to work. We figure that aside from the stench and constant moaning, zombies should make decent employees.

New Day

Christmas and New Year holidays in China are pure commercial fun. I stumbled upon a creche containing the usual baby Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Also present was a rabid wolf pulling a semi-trailer of firewood and a dead deer yoked to a wooden cart overflowing with liquor jugs. This was in a place that serves donkey meat dumplings. I guess that’s why there was no donkey in the manger scene.

I’ve been wanting to make more frequent updates but Chinese Internet woes have hampered my ability to upload photos. So expect things to be quiet around here until we make our official announcement about the next project…

Violence, game and other

On a topic that I’ve grown tired of even thinking about, video game violence, I recently read the following…

First this:

Video Game Violence Goes Straight to Kids’ Heads
TUESDAY, Nov. 28 (HealthDay News) – A study of adolescents finds that violent video games stir up the brain’s emotional-response center while reducing activity in regions linked to self-control.
“This is the first time that it has been demonstrated that violent video games can affect brain physiology and the way the brain functions,” said lead researcher Dr. Vincent Mathews, professor of radiology at Indiana University School of Medicine.

Input “stirs up” the brain. So what!

Then this:

Hot on the heels of the release of the Iraq Study Group Report — and a day in which 10 U.S. servicemen were killed and at least 84 Iraqis were blown up or shot — prospective presidential candidate Hillary Clinton will join with Joe Lieberman to hold a press conference today at 3 pm ET to announce the launch of a television PSA campaign about… video game ratings.

Reading that Hilary Clinton is more concerned about fictional video game violence than she is about all the real-world death and violence in Iraq stirs up MY emotional-response center. Will someone PLEASE make a PSA campaign about the violence inducing risks of living in a world filled with moronic politicians!?

Dags?

While dealing with the bureaucracy of starting a business in China I’ve also been trying to find a place to live in Shanghai. A straight-forward enough task – get an agent, view houses, etc. Some of the locations are at a distance from the new office, so I’ve been thinking of buying a gas scooter. On that topic I had this exchange with one of my agents:

Me: Thinking of buying a scooter.

Agent: Oh, scooters are cheap in Shanghai. But the license is very expensive.

Me: Eh?

Agent: But you can get parrot license. Very cheap.

Me: Parrot license?

Agent: Yes, parrot license. Very cheap. Very easy.

Me: “Parrot”? – Sits on the shoulder of a pirate? Says, “Caw! Caw!”?

Agent: Yah, “parrot”. Arrrg.

He gestures with his hand to make a hook.

Me: Ohhhhh… you mean PIRATE license… Yeah, I need a parrot license.

Poke, Poke, Prod

Welcome to Shanghai, now bend over.

Yesterday we went to the doctor. But it was more like an assembly line of poking and prodding. A model of Chinese scale and efficiency. The goal: To be certified as healthy, happy, and sane before acquiring our China live/work visas.

Assessment QueueMatt and Xin

At the beginning things were pretty standard for a visit to the doctor’s office. Only the mass of confused looking foreigners gave any indication to the differentness of the situation. We filled out the obligatory yes/no medical questionnaires. Do you suffer from any of the following:

*Diabetes
*Colon Cancer
*Herpes/AIDS
*Plague
*Heart Disease
*Leprosy
*Psychotic Episodes
*Epilepsy

Etc, etc. Pretty standard stuff, but it left me wondering. Who still gets “plague”? I thought that was done away with around the time of Monty Python’s “Holy Grail”. Leprosy? Wouldn’t that be kinda obvious? “Sir, you dropped your finger.” And psychotic episodes? Apparently this is something they have a problem with in Shanghai, even the “passenger agreement” in the taxi admonishes against catching a ride if you happen to be a “psycho”. Do crazy people get in the cab, read that, and then say, “Oops, sorry mate. Let me out at the next corner. I’m crazy.”

Happily none of us suffer from any of these things. (At least we won’t publicly admit to being psychos.)

With forms finished your number is called and it’s into the breach. Clothes are exchanged for robes. You find yourself feeling a lot like cattle. People shuffle confusedly from room to room, examination station to doctor’s desk. Stamp, stamp, stamp go the forms. Doctors prod you. Nurses jab you. Blood squirts, xrays blast, and stethoscopes listen. At one point we even had sonograms. I tried to ask, “Boy or girl?” but the joke was lost on my non-English speaking medical inquisitor.

Suddenly, you’re done. You expect some sort of handshake and, “You won’t die soon.” from the nearest doctor, but no. Results will be mailed. Have a nice day. Get out.

Shanghai Health Assessment Office

All in all a throughly dehumanizing experience. All in the name of progress. At least we now know we won’t be giving colon cancer to China.